Well, after being on a positive high first thing this morning when I wrote my first blog for 'Anxiety Girl', good ol' faithful has decided to try and get one over on me again.
My brain has been somewhat focused on how it likes to be a hypochondriac at times. I suffered this for about a year just after my anxiety started and needless to say, I annoyed the hell out of a lot of general practitioners. Anxiety can reveal itself as very physical symptoms, these can be scary and alarming and make you think that something else must be wrong. Anyway, I hadn't had this for a while but the past few months a few things haven't been 'the norm' and I am panicking about them. Needless to say I am booked in to see a GP soon.
Never be afraid to get anything your not sure of checked out, no matter what. OK, some GP's, especially ones that see you regularly can become quite inpatient with you with reoccurring visits through anxiety issues. I have had a few bad experiences where GP's have been rather abrupt with me... and I get this, I do. But anxiety is itself an illness and I think a GP's role, no matter what, is to be supportive and give you the best help possible, therefore it is essential you find yourself a good one.
I am trying to tell myself that these new 'symptoms' I am trying to self diagnose myself with could be symptoms for many things... but of course, I always go to the very worst case scenarios and this makes me feel ill, which it is trying to do right now... Mind = Red Alert, sirens are going off barp barp barp!!! Thoughts racing, a gazillion things all going off at once in the brain... feeling nauseous thinking that something terrible is happening and scared of dying! Yep, thats right... sickeningly scared..
This time.. I am trying to think about it more rationally. This time I am giving myself a pep talk and literally asking myself what other less severe causes it could be, and if it were the thing I am most afraid of.. it could still be sorted out and if not, do I really want to let it beat me already. Am I making sense here?? Maybe not... sometimes when your anxiety brain is active its really hard to make sense of much and thoughts just come out in masses of words and sentences with not structure.. just a load of blahhhblahhhblahh.
Anyway, I thought it was important to show that anxiety can happen at any time and from one day to the next... thats pretty normal for me... this time though, I need to think a little more rationally about it.
Until next time x
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